Starting when my daughter was only two years old, we got pressure from friends and family to get her into nursery school. Dutifully, we paid for a very expensive one-day-a-week program in our synagogue. It couldn't have been more baby-friendly. It was two hours of play with other children and sweet teachers. There was only one problem: my daughter didn't want to go. She cried every time I left her and continued to cry while I was gone. Everyone told me to be patient, "she'll get used to it, she'll be fine, it's good for her."

We had the same experience in Kindergarten. In 1st Grade it turned into my daughter needing to be picked up at school several times per week. In 2nd Grade, it became daily torture to get her out the door and pushed into the classroom. This only escalated as she got older.  

It wasn't until my daughter was in 5th Grade that I started to question the societal pressure to keep sending her away. Why was I constantly trying to push her out of the nest? It's what looks "right" or "well-adjusted." We all know the stigma of the adult child living in the basement of their parents' house. What a loser!  This is the image we automatically conjure up.

The first year we homeschooled, my daughter joined 4-H. It was through her involvement over the last several years that we have come to know a few adults who are 4-H graduates. They are involved, in adult roles now, and offer such a great model for the kids and teens that look up to them. The interesting thing about them, is their unique relationships with their parents. Their parents are still there supporting them in really active ways.

When my daughter is showing her animals and taking care of them at hot, dusty fair grounds, I'm helping take care of her. I help her with her supplies, get her water, and in general support her. Well, these parents of adult 4-H volunteers do exactly the same thing!

I see them toting cages and books and food while their grown-up children work with the kids. Their relationships outside 4-H is the same, supportive and they are just as close as when they were young. At first, I had the typical societal reaction to this. I judged them as being a little sheltered or immature. But then, I watched these families interact and I started to see the beauty in it. It's not weird, it's wonderful.

The relationships we have with our children are the most important and influential ones we have. Why should that change as they get older? Why should we push them away?

I worry because we homeschool, that my daughter doesn't have as many opportunities to experience typical teenager relationships. Recently, we were talking about friendship. I was telling her that I always had a best friend growing up to talk to about anything. Someone I could rely on to always be there for me during tough times. She said, "just like us."

Well, I don't care what anyone thinks... I don't know what could be better than that. This is the kind of thing that most parents can only dream of. I'm proud to be my daughter's best friend and I will go on supporting her no matter how old either of us are! Even if she wants to live in the basement.

If you'd like to explore ideas for creative lessons designed just for your child and their interests, come visit me at www.blossomlearning.weebly.com.